Two toddlers have just chased each other to the top of a jungle gym while their mothers are lost in conversation on a nearby park bench. A gang of older children comes racing along the bike path, laughing. They overtake a young mum, who is cycling slowly, balancing a baby in a seat on the front of her bike and a toddler on the back. A group of girls is playing monkey-in-the-middle on the grass. Not far away, some boys are perfecting their skateboarding moves. None of the school-age children are accompanied by adults. This is no movie, just a happy scene on a regular Wednesday afternoon in The Hague, Holland.
Supposedly, Dutch children are the happiest in the world.
Coming back from a great 6 weeks holiday in Holland I can understand that. Spending a longer period of time in Holland this summer really showed me the contrast between the two and made me realise that growing up in Holland is so different then the life we live. It was a great holiday thanks to my parents who took Alexander camping in the middle of the woods, not far from their home. Every now and then I visited them to have lunch / dinner together or I joined them on day trips.
According to researchers, children in Holland are ahead of their peers in well-being when compared with twenty-nine of the world’s richest industrialised countries.
It’s not that these places are bad for children, or a difficult place to grow up but whilst in Holland I found it hard not to compare how happy the children were compared to other places. Childhood in the Netherlands for the most part consists of freedom, plenty of play and little academic stress.
“Parents have a healthy attitude towards their kids, seeing them as individuals rather than as extensions of themselves. They understand that achievement doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness, but that happiness can cultivate achievement.”
“The Dutch definitely do not care if little Sophie or Sem is a piano prodigy, a chess champion or an Instagram model famous by the age of two. There are no Baby Einstein DVDs being played, no black-and-white flash cards being used, and definitely no baby enrichment classes or baby gyms, at least not outside the major cities. The Dutch aren’t concerned about their babies being the smartest. They seem to just want them to be the easiest.”
These are 2 quotes from the book I recently read; The Happiest Kids in the World, written by two women — one from America, one from England — who are married to Dutch men and raising their children in Holland.
My thoughts after reading it: I wouldn’t mind moving back to Holland. During our France years (were Alexander was born), we spent a few holidays a year in Holland as my family lives there and and every time loved it so much. It’s a gorgeous country where the main city transportation is bikes and the biggest streets are canals. And yes, I have several Dutch friends who I keep in contact with, and they all approach parenting in a very relaxed, healthy way.
I also find myself comparing the Dutch parenting style to the French parenting style. Do you remember our discussions about French parenting a couple of years ago? We talked about the manners and formality and not really having a word for discipline (they think of discipline as education).
One of the Dutch national sayings translates roughly to “Just act normal, that’s crazy enough,” as a way of reminding everyone to just relax — and that includes parents. It’s about accepting yourself for who you are. Life isn’t Pinterest-perfect, and no one expects you to be perfect. It’s about recognising that you don’t have to try so hard. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Does the Dutch style of parenting appeal to you? Or do you like the more formal French style? Or is there another country with admirable parenting that you’re inspired by? I hope you’ll share.
Alexander is wears a T-shirt by The Harbour Kids, jeans by Scotch Shrunk (found this lovely shop called Kinderboetiek de Dwerg in Spakenburg), shoes by Yaya Lala.
Alexander is wears a T-shirt by The Harbour Kids, jeans by Scotch Shrunk (found this lovely shop called Kinderboetiek de Dwerg in Spakenburg), shoes by Yaya Lala. I’m wearing a dress by COS (my favourite brand!), shoes by Louis Vuitton and bracelets by Lovy.
Alexander is wears a T-shirt by The Harbour Kids, jeans by Scotch Shrunk (found this lovely shop called Kinderboetiek de Dwerg in Spakenburg), shoes by Yaya Lala. I’m wearing a dress by COS (my favourite brand!), shoes by Louis Vuitton and bracelets by Lovy.
Alexander is wears a T-shirt by The Harbour Kids, jeans by Scotch Shrunk (found this lovely shop called Kinderboetiek de Dwerg in Spakenburg), shoes by Yaya Lala. I’m wearing a dress by COS (my favourite brand!), shoes by Louis Vuitton and bracelets by Lovy.
Alexander is wears a T-shirt by The Harbour Kids, jeans by Scotch Shrunk (found this lovely shop called Kinderboetiek de Dwerg in Spakenburg), shoes by Yaya Lala.
Alexander is wears a T-shirt by The Harbour Kids, jeans by Scotch Shrunk (found this lovely shop called Kinderboetiek de Dwerg in Spakenburg), shoes by Yaya Lala. I’m wearing a dress by COS (my favourite brand!), shoes by Louis Vuitton and bracelets by Lovy.
Photo credits: Evelyne Photography – www.evelynephotography.com
Evelyne is a professional photographer in The Netherlands. Based in The Hague, she specialises in shooting people and capturing personality. Though she works mostly in the The Hague area, Evelyne travels and shoots all over Holland. Boundaries do not exist between her portrait photography, corporate photography and commercial photography and she just launched her newest project ‘Kids by Eve’.
